New Country, New Connections...

One of the most unexpected challenges of moving abroad isn’t the paperwork, the time zone changes, or even the language barrier... it’s friendship. When you start a new life in a different country, you’re suddenly balancing two worlds: the friends you’ve known for years, and the new people you’re meeting now.

At first, I thought it would be simple. I’d keep in touch with my old friends over video calls, send the occasional update, and fill my calendar with new social plans here. Easy, right? Wrong. Life got busy. Time zones made messaging tricky. And sometimes, I felt guilty. Guilty for not calling old friends enough, or for investing my energy in people they’d never meet.

So here’s what I learned about navigating friendships across borders.

1. Be intentional with your time

Friendships don’t just “keep going” without effort. Set reminders for yourself to check in with old friends, even a quick voice note can mean a lot. And when you’re building new friendships, treat them like you would back home: show up, follow through, and make space for shared experiences, avoid the catch-up friendship.

2. Accept that friendships will change

It’s natural for some relationships to fade and others to strengthen. This isn’t failure, it’s growth. Life stages, distance, and priorities shift, and that’s okay. Focus on the ones that continue to bring value and joy.

3. Create bridges between your worlds

Share updates that go deeper than “everything’s fine.” Consider if you want to send bi-weekly photo-updates, introduce friends to each other during a visit, or invite an old friend to meet you halfway for a trip. These connections help your worlds feel less separate.

4. Let go of the guilt

You can love your friends back home and still build a full life where you are now. One doesn’t replace the other. Keep talking with each other about your friendship as well. Needs and expectations change. Sometimes this also means that we need to let go of the old. Not out of spite or anger but priorities change, life evolved and so do friendships. 

Living internationally means your social circle will always be in motion, and that’s a gift. You’ll meet people who inspire you in ways you never expected, while still holding space for those who’ve known you from the start.

What’s your biggest challenge when it comes to balancing friendships across borders? And how do you stay connected? Share your thoughts and tips in the comments or join the conversation in our upcoming Borderless Diaries community. Because these are the real stories worth telling.