The Emotional Side of an International Move

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Moving to another country is a massive logistical feat. You’ve likely navigated visa paperwork, scouted apartments online, have planned your to-do list for the week of arrival, and lived out of a suitcase for weeks because everything is packed. And now a different kind of navigation begins. Because moving abroad is not only a logistic happening, it’s also navigating the emotional weight of leaving a life behind. 

The in-between Space

There is a weird, limbo-like period before you leave where you’re physically in one country, but your mind is already many miles away. You start looking at your local coffee shop or the way the light hits your street with a sort of pre-emptive nostalgia. You’re mourning a life that hasn’t quite ended yet while trying to visualize a life that hasn’t started either. Our tips:

• Say the "meaningless" goodbyes: Yes, you may have a big farewell party, but go say goodbye to your favorite park bench or that bakery that knows your order as well.

• Be a tourist in your own city: Take the photos you never took because you lived there. It helps seal the chapter in your mind.

• Lower your expectations of yourself: If you're feeling scatterbrained or unusually tired, give yourself some grace. Your brain is processing a massive identity shift.

Your identity-shift

When you move abroad, you lose some type of context. Back home, people know you’re the funny one, the reliable one, or the one who knows the best hiking trails. In a new country, you’re just the new person with the accent who doesn’t know how to get the right bus ticket. That loss of identity can be strange. It’s okay to feel small or frustrated when simple tasks feel exhausting. You aren't starting from scratch, you're starting from experience. You’re the same person you were, you’re just currently figuring out a new system.

Embracing the "and"

The biggest mistake about an international move is thinking we have to feel one way or the other. We think we have to be 100% happy because we chose this or 100% sad because we miss home. But it’s almost always both. 

• You are thrilled about your new career and heartbroken you’re missing your best friend’s birthday.

• You love the new city's energy and you're frustrated that you can't walk on that one trail you know with your eyes closed.

• You feel incredibly brave and you’re wondering if you’ve made a huge mistake.

Holding these two truths at the same time is the secret to surviving the first six months. It’s not mixed signals, it’s just the reality of a big, international move.

Finding your Anchors

To stop the in-between feeling, you need to find anchors. These are the tiny, non-negotiable habits that make you feel like you. It might be a Sunday morning walk&call with a friend, a gym membership to be able to have your work-out routine, or finding your bench in a local park. These small constants provide a sense of safety while you settle into your new life. So ask yourself: what makes you feel like yourself and at home? Make integrating these anchors a priority in the first weeks. And remember: you’re building a new life, and that takes time. Try to be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend making the same leap.